I had a great reminder about acceptance when I phoned my dad one morning. He was, at the time, in his 75th year of life.
After we had chatted for a few minutes, he told me that his wrist was hurting.
He then spent the next four minutes speculating out loud about the cause.
It was possible that it could be a drill-related injury, he said. He enjoyed woodwork and was, at the time, making a batch of umbilical cord-burning boxes in his shed.
It could have been jarred when he used his jigsaw to separate a bag of frozen chicken breasts because he only needed two. (Yes, we discussed this and yes, he said he tried to remember to give the blade a quick wipe first). Or maybe it was the consequence of having driven more than usual.
He went considered a couple of other possibilities before letting out a big sigh and making a statement that struck me so soundly that I immediately wrote it down so I could keep and share it.
“Old people are always looking for an explanation as to why something hurts other than that they’re old,” he said. “But I suppose most of the time it’s just because we’re old really.”
I spend so much of my time looking at research in which people are trying to uncover simple causal (and, in my humble opinion, often mythical) relationships between different aspects of our incredibly complex lives, bodies and experiences.
It was really refreshing to have this early morning reminder that, sometimes, it’s good to just accept that something is just the way that it is, and to then move on with one’s day.
You’ll find more on this, and many other topics, in my new book, Midwifery Wisdom.
In it, I explore the knowledge that experienced midwives develop over years of supporting women through pregnancy, birth, and the postnatal period. How midwives use their senses to assess labour progress, why the maths behind obstetric boundaries needs rethinking, the value of postnatal tea and toast, and when to put your gloves on. I cover topics from risk to cats in a book written to help people understand midwifery, and midwives better understand the value of their own skills and wisdom.
About the Author: Dr Sara Wickham is an author, speaker, and researcher specialising in pregnancy, birth and maternity care. Her work focuses on evidence-based, woman-centred information and informed decision-making, drawing on more than 30 years of midwifery knowledge and experience.
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